@nerthos literally the biggest symptoms of bpd are extreme switching of values/identity and sudden hostility/change of opinion on friends and family. there is no way to remove those symptoms (especially by "just doing it") while remaining "delores". this identity has been a journal of the worst parts of my mind through the worst years of my life and i have not desired to make it pretty or nice for others to interact with. the killing of this identity is to cut off one of the arms that feeds these abusive actions through offering more arguments to reply to and more jokes to be made at my failures. it is a purge of my mind from pointless fighting and irritating drama, one of the most important things to free myself of.
i am glad you posted this, as it has let me come up with more reasons to justify leaving this behind. despite all my struggling and self hatred, i will leave still known as "that asshole who just didn't want to try". and i'm glad, because it's not worth fighting that reputation anymore.