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Notices by fortune -o (fortune)

  1. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 09:45:01 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
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    To a weepy young woman in Thrums
    Her betrothed remarked, "This is what comes
    Of allowing your tears
    To fall into my ears -
    I think they have rotted the drums."
    -- Edward Gorey
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 09:45:01 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  2. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 09:30:03 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
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    When you said "HEAVILY FORESTED" it reminded me of an overdue CLEANING
    BILL ... Don't you SEE? O'Grogan SWALLOWED a VALUABLE COIN COLLECTION
    and HAD to murder the ONLY MAN who KNEW!!
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 09:30:03 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  3. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 09:15:02 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
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    "Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the
    sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't
    want you to do or else you'll to to a burning place with a lake of
    fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs
    money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money!"
    [George Carlin, on Politically Incorrect, May 29, 1997]
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 09:15:02 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  4. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 09:00:03 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
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    There was a young girl from Decatur
    Who was raped by an alligator.
    But no one quite knew
    How she relished that screw,
    For after he screwed her, he ate her.
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 09:00:03 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  5. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 08:45:02 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
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    I'm not laughing behind your back; everything funny is in front!
    -- Rodney Dangerfield's wife
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 08:45:02 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  6. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 08:30:02 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
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    A god's primary function is to confirm for us deeply held beliefs that
    we can't let go of, even in the face of overwhelming evidence. When
    you are totally and absolutely convinced of something fundamentally
    unreasonable, it helps to believe you have divine guidance.
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 08:30:02 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  7. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 08:15:02 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
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    There was a young miss from Johore
    Who'd lie on a mat on the floor;
    In a manner uncanny
    She'd wobble her fanny,
    And drain your nuts dry to the core.
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 08:15:02 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  8. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 08:00:02 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
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    We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb
    your cities.
    -- Robin Williams
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 08:00:02 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  9. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 07:45:02 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
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    "Let us remember that those who have sought natures truths have not persecuted
    their neighbors. The astronomers and chemist have forged no chains and built
    no dungeons. The geologist have invented no instruments of torture. The
    philosophers have not demonstrated the truths of their theories by burning
    others. The great infidels, the thinkers have lived for the good of humankind.
    Intellectual liberty is the fresh air of the universe and the sunshine of the
    soul. Without it, the universe is a prison."
    [Robert G. Ingersoll]
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 07:45:02 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  10. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 07:30:02 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
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    The skater, Barbara Ann Scott
    Is so fuckingly "winsome" a snot,
    That when posed on her toes
    She elaborately shows
    Teeth, fat ass, titties and twat.
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 07:30:02 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  11. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 07:15:02 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
    Remote profile options...
    A pious old woman named Tweak
    Had taught her vagina to speak.
    It was frequently liable
    To quote from the Bible,
    But when fucking -- not even a squeak!
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 07:15:02 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  12. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 07:00:08 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
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    FORTUNE PRESENTS FAMOUS LAST WORDS: #4

    Socrates: I DRANK WHAT!?!?
    Tarzan: Who greased the grape viiiiiiiiiiiinnnneee........
    Al Capone: There's a violin in my violin case!
    Pilot, TWA Fl. #343: What's a mountain goat doing 'way up here?
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 07:00:08 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  13. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 06:45:07 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
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    There was a young girl of Darjeeling
    Who could dance with such exquisite feeling
    There was never a sound
    For miles around
    Save of fly-buttons hitting the ceiling.
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 06:45:07 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  14. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 06:30:06 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
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    There was a young girl from East Lynn
    Whose mother ( to save her from sin )
    Had filled up her crack
    With hard-setting shellac,
    But the boys picked it out with a pin.
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 06:30:06 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  15. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 06:15:06 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
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    So it's ai yi yi yi,
    Your mother scores more than Wayne Gretzky!
    So sing me another verse that worse than the other verse,
    And waltz me around by my willie!

    There once was a man from Nantucket!
    Whose cock was so long he could suck it!
    He said with a grin,
    As he wiped off his chin,
    If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

    So it's ai yi yi yi,
    Your sister does squat thrusts on flag poles!
    So sing me another verse that worse than the other verse,
    And waltz me around by my willie!

    There once was a young man from Boston!
    Who drove around town in an Austin!
    There was room for his ass,
    And a gallon of gas,
    So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em!
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 06:15:06 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  16. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 06:00:12 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
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    I can understand companionship. I can understand bought sex in the
    afternoon. I cannot understand the love affair.
    -- Gore Vidal
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 06:00:12 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  17. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 05:45:02 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
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    The girls that go to see a man's etchings may not know art ...

    but they know what they like!
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 05:45:02 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  18. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 05:30:03 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
    Remote profile options...
    TONY RANDALL! Is YOUR life a PATIO of FUN??
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 05:30:03 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  19. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 05:15:02 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
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    [Americans] are a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything
    we allow them short of hanging.
    -- Samuel Johnson

    America is a large friendly dog in a small room. Every time it wags its
    tail it knocks over a chair.
    -- Arnold Toynbee

    The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to
    everybody and still nobody likes him.
    -- Jim Samuels
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 05:15:02 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
  20. fortune -o (fortune)'s status on Friday, 01-Jun-2018 05:00:03 UTC fortune -o fortune -o
    Remote profile options...
    A bear and a rabbit are taking a crap in the woods. The bear looks
    over at the rabbit and asks, "Say, does shit ever stick to your fur?"
    "No."
    So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
    Friday, 01-Jun-2018 05:00:03 UTC from gs.kawa-kun.com permalink
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